WHAT’S HOT AND WHAT’S NOT IN THE WORLD OF SOAP
HOT
1. David Essex as Eddie Moon (EastEnders). I once interviewed him for two hours, during which time he got in barely six words – “Thanks”, every 20 minutes, as I gushed about his many talents.
2. Dr Matt (Coronation Street). Can’t help wondering what he finds to talk about with Tina, though. Safe to say it’s not Einstein’s Theory of Relativity.
3. Slow burning relationship between Lauren and Marlon (Emmerdale). Hurry up and take her over that stove, man; the suspense is killing us.
4. Father Francis (Hollyoaks). For a man of the cloth, he isn’t half quick to contemplate getting out of it at every opportunity. He’s probably downing the communion wine behind closed doors, too.
5. Performances from Alison King and Andrew Lancel as Carla and Frank (Coronation Street). Outstanding stuff in the ongoing rape storyline. And there’s more to come.
NOT
1. Dev’s son Aadi, allegedly being the next Tiger Woods (Coronation Street). Hard to believe any kids springing from Dev’s loins could be talented at anything. Let’s hope the kid puts that club to good use off the golf course.
2. Amy/Air-Mee’s hair (Emmerdale). Is it animal, vegetable or mineral? Whichever, it looks in need of a good wash. Well, a shearing wouldn’t go amiss, either.
3. Rosie’s new short hairdo (Coronation Street). Hard to believe she’s been picking up modelling jobs with it. Next week she claims to have landed a stint on Lorraine Kelly, on the catwalk. Yeah, right. And I’m a haggis.
4. Toadie’s new job with the Council (Neighbours). If we thought his job as a solicitor was dull, this one is a veritable rigor mortis of excitement.
5. Hayley’s red mac (Coronation Street). She’s been cemented into it since day one in 1998. Is there anyone on the planet who doesn’t buy a new coat at least once every 13 years?
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Easter Soap Thoughts
So, the baby story on EastEnders has finally come to an end, and that now leaves me free to ponder all those niggling, worrying questions that I have been shelving.
Such as: what has happened to Paddy’s hair in Emmerdale? I have been Googling this for a while, and apparently there is no sinister story: the general theory is that he has been wearing a wig for some time (I hadn’t even noticed) and probably just got fed up with the heat of filming under it (I suspect Corrie’s Sophie has the same feeling under that crinoline toilet roll cover of a beret she has been wearing of late).
Also, on Emmerdale: what has happened to Kelly’s face? I adore Adele Silva, who plays her (nobody bitches it better), but how and when did she acquire those lips?
Did she give birth to Elliott through her mouth?
As a side note in relation to Emmerdale . . . I was watching (for about the 20th time) To Sir With Love today and noticed, in the credits, the name of Christopher Chittell (along with names such as Lulu, Judy Geeson and Adrienne Posta – all very big in their day, for those of you young enough to be my children/grand children). He had a pretty signifiacent role, too, as the young Potter. And he is amazing.
I assumed it was the same Chris (and subsequently discovered it to be him - thank you, again, Google), who has brilliantly (and just as amazingly) been playing Eric Pollard for aeons in Emmerdale, and I was really thrilled to see his name in the credits of what is, to me, one of the greatest films ever made. Blimey! He is one of the most lovely actors I have ever met and could - and should - be screaming from the rooftops about this role, which his young self carries off with extraordinary sensitivity.
I don't care how long ago it was. Talent is talent. Gosh. Honestly. I'm even more in awe of him than I already was. How many of you know this about the guy?
If you haven’t seen To Sir With Love (virtual children and grand children!), do! It is an incredible, brave film, with a moral heart that is so lacking in much of today’s cinema, and I spent Good Friday in tears after watching the star of the movie, Sidney Poitier, in another of his great films, Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?
I met Sidney last year in LA and was beside myself with excitement. We often forget how far we have come in relation to prejudice, not only in relation to racism, but life in general – and how very far we still have to go. Anyway, I was thrilled to see Chris’s name, and young performers should be reminded of what is undoubtedly a privilege to be working with actors who have trodden the boards long before their own trees were even planted. But I digress . . .
So, other things that I have been thinking about . . . How many wigs does Corrie’s Hayley have – one week light brown, the next week dark? Will she ever go shopping for a new Mac (the coat, not the laptop) to replace that red one, and could she possibly take EastEnders’ Alfie, cemented into that black leather jacket, with her when she does?
Will EastEnders’ Jack ever have sex with anyone who (a) doesn’t get pregnant, (b) is me?
Okay, I digress again, but he really is the hottest totty out there at the moment, although I await David Essex’s arrival with great trepidation). I saw Mr Essex in Godspell in London's Wyndham's Theatre in 1972 (the year I bought my first "surf beads" - I was sooooo hip!), when I went up on stage at the end, where he signed my cork (not a euphemism, alas - I picked it up from the stage floor from the bottle used for the Last Supper. Gosh, they knew how to throw a stage party for the audience in those days).
I interviewed the star once, too, and I didn’t shut up for the three hours over lunch: “I loved you in Godspell and then I bought all your albums and when I saw you in That’ll be the Day with Ringo Starr and you touched that girl’s naked breast and then Ringo said at the miniature golf ‘Good practice for getting things into holes’ and then you were on that suicide mission in Stardust but then I saw you in Evita . . . .” On and on and on. The poor man managed just six words: “Thanks”, every 30 seconds when I paused for breath during my adulatory monologue.
Anyway, have a great Easter, everyone, and keep watching your favourite shows! Check out my other blog, too, http://lanotsoconfidential.blogspot.com.
PS But dammit!!! Chris Chittell!!!! And Sidney Poitier!!!!! Listen up, people! AND LEARN!
Such as: what has happened to Paddy’s hair in Emmerdale? I have been Googling this for a while, and apparently there is no sinister story: the general theory is that he has been wearing a wig for some time (I hadn’t even noticed) and probably just got fed up with the heat of filming under it (I suspect Corrie’s Sophie has the same feeling under that crinoline toilet roll cover of a beret she has been wearing of late).
Also, on Emmerdale: what has happened to Kelly’s face? I adore Adele Silva, who plays her (nobody bitches it better), but how and when did she acquire those lips?
Did she give birth to Elliott through her mouth?
As a side note in relation to Emmerdale . . . I was watching (for about the 20th time) To Sir With Love today and noticed, in the credits, the name of Christopher Chittell (along with names such as Lulu, Judy Geeson and Adrienne Posta – all very big in their day, for those of you young enough to be my children/grand children). He had a pretty signifiacent role, too, as the young Potter. And he is amazing.
I assumed it was the same Chris (and subsequently discovered it to be him - thank you, again, Google), who has brilliantly (and just as amazingly) been playing Eric Pollard for aeons in Emmerdale, and I was really thrilled to see his name in the credits of what is, to me, one of the greatest films ever made. Blimey! He is one of the most lovely actors I have ever met and could - and should - be screaming from the rooftops about this role, which his young self carries off with extraordinary sensitivity.
I don't care how long ago it was. Talent is talent. Gosh. Honestly. I'm even more in awe of him than I already was. How many of you know this about the guy?
If you haven’t seen To Sir With Love (virtual children and grand children!), do! It is an incredible, brave film, with a moral heart that is so lacking in much of today’s cinema, and I spent Good Friday in tears after watching the star of the movie, Sidney Poitier, in another of his great films, Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?
I met Sidney last year in LA and was beside myself with excitement. We often forget how far we have come in relation to prejudice, not only in relation to racism, but life in general – and how very far we still have to go. Anyway, I was thrilled to see Chris’s name, and young performers should be reminded of what is undoubtedly a privilege to be working with actors who have trodden the boards long before their own trees were even planted. But I digress . . .
So, other things that I have been thinking about . . . How many wigs does Corrie’s Hayley have – one week light brown, the next week dark? Will she ever go shopping for a new Mac (the coat, not the laptop) to replace that red one, and could she possibly take EastEnders’ Alfie, cemented into that black leather jacket, with her when she does?
Will EastEnders’ Jack ever have sex with anyone who (a) doesn’t get pregnant, (b) is me?
Okay, I digress again, but he really is the hottest totty out there at the moment, although I await David Essex’s arrival with great trepidation). I saw Mr Essex in Godspell in London's Wyndham's Theatre in 1972 (the year I bought my first "surf beads" - I was sooooo hip!), when I went up on stage at the end, where he signed my cork (not a euphemism, alas - I picked it up from the stage floor from the bottle used for the Last Supper. Gosh, they knew how to throw a stage party for the audience in those days).
I interviewed the star once, too, and I didn’t shut up for the three hours over lunch: “I loved you in Godspell and then I bought all your albums and when I saw you in That’ll be the Day with Ringo Starr and you touched that girl’s naked breast and then Ringo said at the miniature golf ‘Good practice for getting things into holes’ and then you were on that suicide mission in Stardust but then I saw you in Evita . . . .” On and on and on. The poor man managed just six words: “Thanks”, every 30 seconds when I paused for breath during my adulatory monologue.
Anyway, have a great Easter, everyone, and keep watching your favourite shows! Check out my other blog, too, http://lanotsoconfidential.blogspot.com.
PS But dammit!!! Chris Chittell!!!! And Sidney Poitier!!!!! Listen up, people! AND LEARN!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
New Year, New Misery
Already, I am exhausted.
Not from enduring both the UK and the US New Year celebrations in LA (4pm and midnight, respectively), but because the soaps have seen in 2011 with about as much cheer as the Australian cricket team.
Val walked out on Eric in Emmerdale, after suspecting him of having killed his wife following the plane crash of 1993 (30th of December, to be precise – another not so happy New Year); EastEnders’ Ronnie swapped her baby with Kat’s, after her own suffered a cot death; and Coronation Street’s Tracy was left for dead after having her head bashed in.
Seventeen years is a long time for Eric to be called to account for his actions on the night of the plane crash, but he assured Val that he was incapable of murder. I have to agree; if he were, surely he would have bumped off most of the other irritating women who have crossed his path over the years, Val included.
I suspect she’ll be back, not least because the tiny case she whizzed down the garden path when she left so hurriedly couldn’t have been holding more than a toothbrush and a pair of tights.
Meanwhile, in the Woolpack, there was more violence on the karaoke, where every song was being strangled. And it looked as if Mia might go the same way, when she kissed Adam and induced the wrath of Scarlett. Expect more Scarlett fever when she learns more.
Samantha Womack gave the performance of he life as EastEnders' Ronnie, when the character discovered her dead baby. At the end of the show, there were contact details given for anyone who had been “affected” by any of the issues.
I don’t have children, but I sobbed my way through the whole thing, and Ronnie’s shock, followed by the realisation of what she had done, was totally convincing – certainly a lot more convincing than the doll she had taken from the cot in a scene that made it look as if the baby had grown about 18 inches in the short distance walk between the house and the Vic.
I’m also not convinced that Alfie wouldn’t have spotted the different baby. Apart from the identical outfits, they had entirely different physical features. Maybe all that staring at the full moon has done more to his eyesight than we realised.
Coronation Street went for laughs in the vileness with which Tracy treated the locals in the hours leading up to her beating. Although Steve was found with bloodied hands at the scene, there are plenty of suspects.
1. Emily. David cut her ear when doing her hair, after Tracy went into the salon and goaded him about their sleeping together. Having her hair coloured was the biggest excitement in Emily’s year (although enjoying a sweet sherry was right up there, too), so taking a mallet to Tracy’s head might have been hard to resist.
2. Nick. Having truly lost Leanne after she discovered he had sex with Tracy, he took to the bottle of whisky, which is always the drink of angry men in Walford (it’s always vodka for angry women, as it is in Weatherfield, too) and invariably brings about fury. When will somebody tell Nick, by the way, that nookie in a bed is not illegal? The wine bar, the bookie’s, alleyways - no floor or wall is too sticky or dusty for him.
3. David. Always chief suspect at a crime scene, and definitely this one, after Tracy criticised his sexual performance. I still can’t get my head around David being old enough to have sex, especially as he looks barely old enough to turn on his train set, let alone a woman.
4. Mary. Having had a premonition in which she saw Tracy “lying on a slab”, after being insulted by the younger woman, she’s a good bet. Let’s not forget how she has already managed to kidnap Norris and get herself excluded from Hayley’s wedding (not to mention sabotaging the wedding train); there is darkness there, certainly. A conviction would mean the end of the character, though, and the show can’t afford to lose one of its great comic creations.
5. Gail. Despite the fact that in one scene, there appeared to be a difference of three feet in height between the women, let’s not forget that Gail has three dead husbands behind her, which is something of a record. That iron is also almost permanently in her grasp, too, so could easily double up as a weapon.
6. Steve. It’s unlikely that he would kill the mother of his child, much as he is disturbed by her threats to reveal his and Becky’s baby-buying exploits. What was he doing in the alleyway, though, and, more to the point, why does nobody ever lock the door to their yards?
Whoever turns out to be the attacker, of this much we can be certain: another hilarious court case, more prison scenes with lots of dopey extras, and surely a blue plaque on the street that could justly be re-named Death Row.
Here's wishing you all a happier New Year than our soap counterparts look likely to have.
Not from enduring both the UK and the US New Year celebrations in LA (4pm and midnight, respectively), but because the soaps have seen in 2011 with about as much cheer as the Australian cricket team.
Val walked out on Eric in Emmerdale, after suspecting him of having killed his wife following the plane crash of 1993 (30th of December, to be precise – another not so happy New Year); EastEnders’ Ronnie swapped her baby with Kat’s, after her own suffered a cot death; and Coronation Street’s Tracy was left for dead after having her head bashed in.
Seventeen years is a long time for Eric to be called to account for his actions on the night of the plane crash, but he assured Val that he was incapable of murder. I have to agree; if he were, surely he would have bumped off most of the other irritating women who have crossed his path over the years, Val included.
I suspect she’ll be back, not least because the tiny case she whizzed down the garden path when she left so hurriedly couldn’t have been holding more than a toothbrush and a pair of tights.
Meanwhile, in the Woolpack, there was more violence on the karaoke, where every song was being strangled. And it looked as if Mia might go the same way, when she kissed Adam and induced the wrath of Scarlett. Expect more Scarlett fever when she learns more.
Samantha Womack gave the performance of he life as EastEnders' Ronnie, when the character discovered her dead baby. At the end of the show, there were contact details given for anyone who had been “affected” by any of the issues.
I don’t have children, but I sobbed my way through the whole thing, and Ronnie’s shock, followed by the realisation of what she had done, was totally convincing – certainly a lot more convincing than the doll she had taken from the cot in a scene that made it look as if the baby had grown about 18 inches in the short distance walk between the house and the Vic.
I’m also not convinced that Alfie wouldn’t have spotted the different baby. Apart from the identical outfits, they had entirely different physical features. Maybe all that staring at the full moon has done more to his eyesight than we realised.
Coronation Street went for laughs in the vileness with which Tracy treated the locals in the hours leading up to her beating. Although Steve was found with bloodied hands at the scene, there are plenty of suspects.
1. Emily. David cut her ear when doing her hair, after Tracy went into the salon and goaded him about their sleeping together. Having her hair coloured was the biggest excitement in Emily’s year (although enjoying a sweet sherry was right up there, too), so taking a mallet to Tracy’s head might have been hard to resist.
2. Nick. Having truly lost Leanne after she discovered he had sex with Tracy, he took to the bottle of whisky, which is always the drink of angry men in Walford (it’s always vodka for angry women, as it is in Weatherfield, too) and invariably brings about fury. When will somebody tell Nick, by the way, that nookie in a bed is not illegal? The wine bar, the bookie’s, alleyways - no floor or wall is too sticky or dusty for him.
3. David. Always chief suspect at a crime scene, and definitely this one, after Tracy criticised his sexual performance. I still can’t get my head around David being old enough to have sex, especially as he looks barely old enough to turn on his train set, let alone a woman.
4. Mary. Having had a premonition in which she saw Tracy “lying on a slab”, after being insulted by the younger woman, she’s a good bet. Let’s not forget how she has already managed to kidnap Norris and get herself excluded from Hayley’s wedding (not to mention sabotaging the wedding train); there is darkness there, certainly. A conviction would mean the end of the character, though, and the show can’t afford to lose one of its great comic creations.
5. Gail. Despite the fact that in one scene, there appeared to be a difference of three feet in height between the women, let’s not forget that Gail has three dead husbands behind her, which is something of a record. That iron is also almost permanently in her grasp, too, so could easily double up as a weapon.
6. Steve. It’s unlikely that he would kill the mother of his child, much as he is disturbed by her threats to reveal his and Becky’s baby-buying exploits. What was he doing in the alleyway, though, and, more to the point, why does nobody ever lock the door to their yards?
Whoever turns out to be the attacker, of this much we can be certain: another hilarious court case, more prison scenes with lots of dopey extras, and surely a blue plaque on the street that could justly be re-named Death Row.
Here's wishing you all a happier New Year than our soap counterparts look likely to have.
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